Round One
DAY #1
Friday, February 23, 2018 Today’s the day!! Claire, Meme (Dan’s Mom) and I are off to the hospital to start chemo. Lots of hurdles just to get to the starting line. Daniel is on his way home with David to get life back in order at home. We are dividing and conquering. Let’s do this!! . – Lindsey
“You sure know how to make a grown man cry. What an inspiration beautiful Claire is. She is being so brave” – Shane W.
“THAT’S MY GIRL!!! Claire’s going to beat this twice. The first time over the next few months and the second time when she cures the disease as a doctor... which I believe wouldn’t be possible without what she is experiencing now. Everything happens for a reason and there is such a thing as desirable difficulties.” – Dan O.
“Sweet girl.... your illness will never define your strength, courage and love will. Blessings.” – Barb S.
DAY #2
LPCH… Claire is a determined little girl, she always has been, but now this particular ability is shining. She isn’t afraid to try new medicines, re-dress her port or meet a new doctor. We’ve been quite busy today ... Claire painted with Meme this morning (while I went for a much needed run) and then we took a long walk (with her IV pole which she hilariously named “Bobby”). And we visited the playroom where we met new friends (Claire is clearly an extrovert). We are now hunkered down in our room getting her daily rounds of chemo. Here is a video we took on our long walk today. We feel so blessed to be getting the best care in such a gorgeous hospital. To God be the glory. Thank you all for praying!! I wish I could respond to all of your kind comments personally or better yet, call you and thank you for all your support. We love all of you dearly! - Lindsey
“I miss you at school, I hope you feel better soon. ❤️Love Mateo! I made a card for you. It was a good day! “ - Mateo
DAY #3
LPCH… it was a long, hard yet wonderful day for us. I’m too tired to express it in words, but here are a few snapshots of the day. . – Lindsey
DAY #4
Claire was discharged today for a wonderful 36 hours! Woohoo!! I’ll manage her medications from home (not our personal home in SLO but a home near the hospital that amazing friends (saints to be exact) offered us). We’ll head back to the hospital on Wednesday for another round. Unfortunately, sweet Claire was not so sweet when we got home. All the attention she’s received went a little to her head. Now I’m faced with disciplining a child with cancer. I know full well that all children thrive when there are clear expectations however, I’m personally struggling with how to manage it. I feel “mom guilt” on both ends of the spectrum. Please pray that we find our way through all this. This is uncharted territory for both of us and my hope is that we show each other enough grace to find a balance. Also, I’m homesick, I miss my other children and man do I miss my husband Daniel. . – Lindsey
“Oh honey, you are such a great mom. You got this! I have said it many times “If I didn’t love you so much, I would just let you do whatever you wanted”” – Rachel J.
DAY #5
One of the most attractive qualities about my husband is his spontaneity. Today at 4:00pm the doorbell rang and there stood Daniel, David and Katherine! It was the sweetest surprise!! He took the kids out of school early and drove 3.5 hours just to spend the evening together as a family (and drive all the way back home tonight). It’s been a long 8 days since we’ve been together. My heart is bursting! Claire and I feel so filled up and ready for tomorrow! - Lindsey
“Perfectly perfect!!! ❤” - Erin L.
DAY #6
Back at the hospital … 6 days since Claire’s chemotherapy began and it feels like it has been 60 days. I’m obviously lacking some stamina. Claire was re-admitted today to Stanford Children’s Hospital for the next round of chemo. There is no way we could have navigated all this without the wise and amazing Dr. Jaymie (Meme) Noland. She hasn’t left our side in almost 2 weeks! Not only has she been our medical translator, but she’s provided daily breaks, meals, laundry service, bedtime stories and always pointed us to Jesus. We love you Meme! . – Lindsey
“I don’t know how you are doing it. But you are! So much good will come out of this. I can’t wait for your days ahead where you will rejoice with your family. In the meantime, our heartfelt prayers.” – Beth-Ann C.
DAY #7
We had quite a night. We had our first big emergency. The nurses recognized that Claire’s port wasn’t accessed correctly around 2 o’clock in the morning and swooped in quickly to stabilize and re-access her. So for the last 10 hours the pre-chemo fluids intended for strengthening her body for chemo did not enter through her port and then her heart, and appropriately distributed through her body but instead filled her chest cavity. I will spare you the details of what her chest looked like, but will land firmly on thankfulness for nurses who follow safety protocols and realized this before administering chemo (which would have deadly effects). Claire loves these nurses and they love her. It’s beautiful. Despite being awake from 2am-5am, Claire woke up joyful. She even had the Stanford Hospital School bring kindergarten to her! This evening has been the hardest yet with a significant decrease in her energy and appetite. But all is well and we are thankful for this time together. – Lindsey
“Claire is literally amazing me! What a strong little girl! Praying for her everyday💞.” – Jennifer K.
“I’m so glad y’all are surrounded by such a good team! ♥️” - Allison H.
DAY #8
In case the Brill Elementary peeps are worried that our new school, Bishops Peak Elementary, is loving us as much as you ... do not fear - they are! Today, Claire’s kindergarten teacher and principal drove 6 hours round-trip (in the rain) to visit Claire and shower her with love and encouragement. Thank you for loving our family in all seasons. We love you Mrs. Wynns, Mr. Block & everyone at Bishops Peak Elementary!! Oh, and this busy day started with her first day at her new hospital School. This little extrovert needed some classroom time. – Lindsey
“These Brill peeps are THRILLED to hear that you are feeling the love from school!” – Brooke C.
“OMG, Mrs. Wynns and Mr. Block get my vote for educators of the year. Thank you two for your compassion for our little Claire.” – Ron F.
“I’m moved by those amazing educators. So awesome!” – Erin H.
DAY #9
We are settling into the new normal. Today Dan and the kids drove up for the weekend! Here is what we look like walking down the hallway with Claire’s new fancy iv cart “Miss Bow”. – Lindsey
“Madeleine named her iv pole Jeffrey during her hospital stay. Lol.” – Jenna T.
DAY #10
Dan and I are switching roles for the day! Dan will be Claire’s nurse while I hang out with David and Katherine. Man I’ve missed these kiddos ... looking forward to an amazing day with them! – Lindsey
Hey all, it’s been a beautiful day... until 30 minutes ago. The ugly side of this process has just revealed itself. The side effects have arrived. Pray for us please. I’m afraid that Lindsey Noland may not be able to post today so y’all get me instead. I’ve been amazed this weekend watching my wife interact with doctors, nurses, and 6-yr olds. This ordeal has unlocked abilities I had not previously witnessed from my already well accomplished bride. Moments before I took this video she identified and prevented an error that would have hurt Claire immensely. If her grad school prof’s had witnessed what I witnessed they would award her an honorary degree without hesitation. So in awe of you darling. And I am so utterly thankful that my children are in your care. We stand on the shoulders of great women. All of us. – Dan
“This was beautiful Dan. We love your wife and I am glad she is taking a break from us. Because truly we are not your concern or should ever be your worry. Take care of #1 first. Family first! Praying for a better, brighter, restful, rejuvenated, happy day tomorrow. God bless” – Katie S.
“Witnessing this from afar but coming to the same conclusion about Lindsey. Praying for Claire and for you all.” – Erin H.
DAY #11
It was a long, hard and HOLY 24 hours. The chemo is working and Claire is experiencing the brutal effects of cancer treatment. All is well with this strong little one.
“I have watched this 3 times with tears streaming down my face.. Claire is so mature for her age and strong at the same time. Little one you are special and all of Texas is praying.” – Julie H.
DAY #12
Discharged! We said goodbye to our favorite nurse and doctor and detached Claire from her IV pole named “Miss Bow” after 6 BEAUTIFUL days. So happy we are on the road to total healing and excited for a long night of uninterrupted sleep. We’ll be staying at our friend’s house nearby until Thursday for Claire’s chemo follow up appointments, before (hopefully) heading home to San Luis Obispo (it’s been more than 3 weeks). God has been so merciful and good. - Lindsey
“So wonderful. Will she be back for more rounds of it at a later date?” – Shannon S.
“Yes, Shannon. Claire will receive 6 rounds of high dose chemotherapy and 15+ doeses of Sedated Intrathecal Therapy bookmarking each round of inpatient chemotherapy.” - Lindsey
DAY #13
It’s been a day of rest. Claire and I are so thankful for this time to decompress. Dan on the other hand has spent the day locking down our home in San Luis Obispo and getting it ready for an immune suppressed kiddo. Here is a screenshot from our text exchange. I love this man so much. - Lindsey
“So awesome! *don’t forget the alcohol* would have been my exact reply, too, Lindsey Noland!” – Cindy B.
DAY #14
Well today is not going as we had hoped. Sweet girl went back to LPCHS for final checkup before we were to head home to SLO but her levels weren’t at a safe level to travel too far from the hospital. Claire is hooked up to “Bobby” (one of her IV poles) again and will be monitored for a few hours. Please pray that her body will regain strength and we can be reunited with our family tonight as planned…
Thursday at 4pm… Update, the doctors have decided that Claire isn’t stable enough to travel 3 hours away from LPCHS. We are so disappointed but thankful for the lovely house we are staying in just down the street from the hospital and for these amazing doctors who will recheck her on Monday. - Lindsey
Hundreds of responses from loved ones who wept with us this day…
“Nooooooooo! Praying it is just a quick stay and you can get on the road home to your sweet other babies and hubby.” – Erin L.
DAY #15
Here we are again back in the Stanford Oncology day-hospital. Claire just isn’t quite herself and her heart rate is elevated. Please pray for answers for this sweet girl. The doctors still haven’t decided if we should go to our “local home” or be admitted. Either way, we are thankful for an amazing healthcare team, excited to meet new nurses and beyond grateful for all the blessings surrounding us these days. It’s been a true joy to witness all this first hand. – Lindsey
“Gosh! I hate that y'all are still at the hospital, but it can be a blessing. You can rest up at the hospital while sweet Claire gets the best care. There's nothing worse than getting home and having to go to the local ER (Not that it's a bad place. There's just a comfort level with your specific medical team and hospital). It takes a village!” – Brooke C.
Friday at 3pm… Update! Claire was sent home (to our home near the hospital) with strict instructions to be monitored closely throughout the weekend and stay close to the hospital. Please pray that her levels stay strong and for my discernment as I care for her. Thank you so much family and friends!
“You’re a wonderful mom Lindsey! So great seeing how strong Claire is, she has a strong role model to follow.” – Tamara I.
“Run quickly--make your get away! You are doing an amazing job, praying Claire can have a quiet and uneventful weekend!” – Anne N.
DAY #16
Saturday morning, March 10th, San Luis Obispo… Back home the three of us awake to our 6th day away from Lindsey and Claire and our 3rd day after we had expected them to be home. Feels like day #60. Holding down the fort in SLO waiting for my girls to come home but things are unraveling fast. We were all set to celebrate their return on Thursday. The house was as clean as a hospital. The banners were printed and hung. The fridge was full. The flowers were in their vases. The hand sanitizer stations were set at each door... and then we got the call that Claire wasn’t stable enough to come home. Pretty discouraging. I felt like a bride left at the altar. We are quickly learning not to plan more than one day in advance. Round 2 of chemo starts Mar 21st so the longer it takes for Claire to recover from round 1, the less time we get - if any - to be together as a family. Come home Lindsey and Claire!!! – Dan
“You have all been so amazing through this very difficult time. Sending hugs and praying for Claire’s strength and recovery. Some family time will be amazing when it comes. Keeping our fingers crossed and prayer hands clasped!” – Traci F.
DAY #17
Still at Stanford… Sunday Funday! – Lindsey
Meanwhile, Day 7 without Lindsey and Claire in SLO… I can’t believe I’m doing this... swallow your pride and just do it, Dan! Okay, here goes...
I’ve never been a big fan of “challenges” or “like this post if...” or “forward this e-mail to ten friends if...” where the cynical side of me assumes that it is usually about drawing attention to oneself and achieving 15 minutes of fame. I really don’t want to be perceived as that person. But this isn’t about fifteen minutes of fame nor is it about my pride. It’s about a little girl and giving her the best possible chance to beat her cancer.
So... I have an idea. I would like to make Claire a book or a collage or something with pictures of all of the people who have her on their hearts.
If Claire is on your heart than please send me a selfie or a picture with your right hand forming the letter “C” over your heart.
Be creative. Take it as a group. Take it on top of a mountain. Take it wearing her favorite color purple. Whatever.
Also... and God forgive me for saying this... please share this idea with non-Facebook friends and/or people who might not know Claire but just want to be a part of giving a 6-yr old cancer patient some hope. - Dan
“Cheering for you, Claire! You’re a winner!” - stranger
“Claire, I'm so proud of you and how brave you are! Our family continues to pray for you each and every day! Daniel, you and Lindsey are heavy on mine and Nicole's hearts. Honored to call you friends!” – Jay M.
“Goofing off while trying to get our pic right. :) Claire, we have never met you but have known your mom for a long time. I have shared what you are going through with my kids and we are so moved by your courage and positivity! You are an amazing little girl.” – Erin H.
DAY #18
Monday at 8am… a new work/school week starts. 9 days without our girls home, 5 days since their scheduled arrival… kids are off to school but I can’t work. So many great pictures yesterday. Thank you! Here’s one from my brother-in-law at SLOPD.
Those of you who know me well know that I have a Malcolm Gladwell quote for every occasion. I keep going back to Part Two of David and Goliath - The Theory of Desirable Difficulty - especially the story of Dr Emil Freireich, the oncologist who had a profound impact on how we treat pediatric cancers today. If not for Dr Freireich, Claire’s odds of survival would be decidedly slimmer.
Gladwell - ever the captivating storyteller - describes Dr Freireich’s traumatic childhood and why he went on to revolutionize pediatric oncology not in spite of that trauma but because of it. Gladwell reaches the following conclusion regarding the unmistakable correlation between childhood adversity and societal contribution as an adult,
“Does this mean that Freireich should be glad he had the childhood he had? The answer is plainly no. What he went through as a child no child should ever have to endure... But the question of what any of us would wish on our children is the wrong question, isn’t it? The right question is whether we as a society NEED people who have emerged from some kind of trauma - and the answer is that we plainly do.”
I honestly can’t imagine a world (not this world anyway) where “bad” things don’t happen to “good” people. How else would they be able to show how “good” they really are?
Claire is an extraordinary girl who will be unhindered by fear - or the fear of fear - because of this experience. Would I wish this upon her? You shut your mouth when you’re talking to me. Do I expect her to change the world as a result? Shake n Bake! – Dan
Monday at 2pm… we’re going home! - Lindsey
Yay!!!!! Yay yay yay!!!!!! So happy!!!! So sweet she wants to babysit Jane- but Jane has a runny nose so we will love you from over here!!! So happy you guys get to come home! – Aunt Casey
How sweet it is!! – Brooke C.
Monday at 6pm… 21 days after she left home to begin her 1st round of chemo… THEY ARE HOME!!!
Huge thank you to Peggy Hoobery at Burdine Printing for the awesome banners and Frances Gonzalez and the team at the Ralphs on Madonna Road for providing the wonderful balloons as well as the goodies you see in the picture. Really made Claire’s arrival memorable.
Claire looks very tired but nothing can hold back the smiles. Her immune system is dangerously weak at the moment so no unexpected visitors please. She leaves again to begin her 2nd round of chemo at LPCHS in 7 short days… but we aren’t thinking about that now. – Dan
“Our nightly prayers are for Claire. We are praying for her to continue to be brave, courageous and strong!!! The Fernandez Family will continue our daily prayers for Claire. Kick cancers butt Claire!” - Heidi F.
“Our sweet cousin Claire is battling Lymphoma. 'C's over our hearts for Courageous, Curious, Cute, Climbing, Captivating CLAIRE! We love you and are praying for you, Warrior Princess!” – Aunt Jennie
DAY #19
Home. What a special word. Everything was so much sweeter today. I held our big kiddos tighter, enjoyed our simple walks to and from school and fell more madly in love with Daniel than ever before. I am so thankful for this man who always sees this world the way it “should be”. In that light, he sees Claire healed and has his sights on Claire cancer-free. We aren’t sure what the end product will be but we are swept up in all of it. Can you post a picture with a “C” (for Claire) over your heart? The days will get harder and Claire’s joy may dwindle as her treatments progress but our hope is that your strength and your pictures will carry her through (well and Jesus too). Thank you to those who have already sent us pics via email, text or on FB. We love this tribe so very much. – Lindsey
“The Kates family loves you Claire and is praying for you every day!” – Emily K.
“The St. Jude Raider's in Indianapolis won the city volleyball championships with Claire in their hearts. Go Claire! Be Strong!!” – Gina L. and Andrea S.
DAY #20
Home. The joy that we feel is un-quantifiable. – Lindsey
So this just happened...
Me: “hey Claire, here’s a piece of chocolate from the Wilson Family.”
Claire takes the piece of chocolate and takes a bite.
Lindsey: “did she wash her hands before she took that?”
She hadn’t in like, 2 minutes, so I take the chocolate from her. She washes her hands and I offer her a new piece.
Lindsey: “wait, did YOU wash your hands before she took that one???”
You know the rest of the story. She really enjoyed the third piece.
Side note, Katherine just got home from school. Someone in her class has meningitis. Katherine’s best friend in her class came down with a fever last night, apparently not related to meningitis, and stayed home from school today. Seven kids in David’s class were out sick today. Lindsey and I are standing in the living room debating what to do about all of these risks when Claire tells Lindsey to move so that she can operate Netflix... with the remote that her siblings were just using ... DROP THE REMOTE!!!
“This is a little insane. There are so many things that have to change.” - Dan
“This made me laugh and cry at the same time. I wish I knew what you could do. From where I can see you are doing everything right.” – Rachel J.
“I’m just happy there was enough chocolate to get you through all of that, you guys are amazing.” - Andrea W.
DAY #21
Cancer is an abuser. It is a bully. It preys on the weak and helpless.
There are two kinds of people in this world: those who are like cancer and those who are like chemo. Be the latter today. Fight injustice. Stand up for the weak. Comfort those who are suffering. They are all around you.
Cancer is cured one cell at a time. It isn’t changed by laws or policies or even movements. It is changed by individual acts of compassion and courage in the grocery aisle, waiting for a traffic light, or writing an e-mail. C is for Claire. – Dan
Home. I finally left Claire’s side and went to the salon where my sweet friend let me sit quietly and respond to so many of your messages that have gone unanswered over the last month! It felt so nice to operate outside of tragedy for a few hours and walk the beautiful streets of San Luis Obispo. Again, it’s the simple things. And now we are breaking another rule and watching a movie on a school night. Rules just don’t apply anymore, I guess. Our new rules are grace and joy and love. We have 3 more days at home together and everyday feels like a vacation. I love having these precious humans under the same roof more than life itself. – Lindsey
“For our sweet friend Claire, currently undergoing cancer treatment. Claire’s mama and I have been friends since elementary school. After weathering middle school, bad boyfriends, and questionable fashion choices, we have stood together at our weddings, countless baby showers, and at our 20th high school reunion. Now we stand with you through the toughest battle yet. Claire- you are brave, strong, and courageous and we are praying for you every day.” – Jennifer M.
“Sending love to Sweet Courageous Claire from Rodeo Houston and the Kerr Girls.” - Penny K.
DAY #22
It has been 5 short weeks since we received the news of Claire’s diagnosis. February 9th ... I had spent that day studying for my upcoming midterms for my MBA classes at Cal Poly. I worked so hard that quarter tackling some very challenging quantitative classes. I took an emergency leave of absence from grad school, which was one of the easiest yet hardest decisions of my life. Today I came across my grad school notebooks while packing my emergency “go-bag” and organizing all my hospital notes. I was struck by the fact that I’m still a grad student, just a different kind. Instead of studying the NPV of a perpetuity, I’m studying the ANC levels that determine neutropenia. Now I’m a parent-oncology student and my professors are amazing Stanford doctors and nurses and my goal is to do everything I can to save my daughter’s life. – Lindsey
“Such an amazing reframe Friend. You’re a learner so will be a student of life....for life. Makes sense that right now you’re using that gift to do all you can to save your daughter’s life.” – Emily W.
“It was your classmates' misfortune that you were not present for the case competition in the Economics class. The maturity and savvy of the nontraditional students was a big asset for their teams! Thanks for the videos, will keep your family in prayer.” – Dennis S. (MBA Professor)
DAY #23
Lots of dancing in the kitchen, playing in the park with my mom and hanging with our lifelong friends Emily & Chris who drove super far to dive deep in this tragedy with us. We are blessed! - Dan
How does this video have 861 views! Stop watching people! I look like an idiot! – Dan
“Daniel Noland I want to dance like you!!” – Sam B.
Back in January I planned a trip for Lindsey and I to go to Chicago for St Patty’s Day. I booked us a room on the river at the London House Chicago. We had tickets to tonight’s Bulls/Cavs game. Tomorrow we would have attended Hamilton. I had planned out every meal and museum. It was going to be a special weekend. Instead it has been a special weekend appreciating the everyday at home as a family. I’m totally content in this moment. - Dan
DAY #24
Today Claire and I packed our bags in preparation for another day at Stanford tomorrow. It will be a long day of testing, but I’ll save the details for tomorrow’s post. Today we soaked up our moments together as a family and played games, ate outside and danced ... of course. And tonight marked the first time that Claire’s precious hair started coming out, like a lot of hair. So this week we’ll make some big changes to help ease her into her new beautiful look. I can’t help but mourn her hair in this video of her dancing.
“Claire, tiny dancer, enjoyed your dancing and spirit. We know there are thousands of prayers with you! Please know the Heim’s are dancing with you! As my Dad always says, “Feel the Love”.” – Julie H.
“We love you so much Claire!! You are such a beautiful, strong, loving big girl!! Lindsey Noland, Daniel Noland, David and Katherine- Claire is so lucky to have you all- what an amazing family you are! You’re all in our hearts and prayers everyday. We miss you.” – Kristin S.